ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
Randomize
