So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
