dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
Randomize
