Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
