Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
