Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
Randomize
