Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
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