i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
and i looked up. we had an audience...
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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