Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
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