I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
Why is your signature on my underwear?
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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