I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
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