Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Randomize
