Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
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