i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
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