Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
Randomize
