I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
she told me i tasted like america
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
Randomize
