A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
It was like giving head to a cactus.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
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