from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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