Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
