last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
