I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
Randomize
