I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
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