Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
Randomize
