All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Randomize
