turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
I need to sanitize my soul.
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
