Only a mothe r could love this liver
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
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