I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
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