I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
