I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
Randomize
