I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
Randomize
