Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
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