When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
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