I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
i was born a porn star she said
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
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