oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
Randomize