she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
