You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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