So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
Randomize
