I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
Randomize