He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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