I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
