I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
Two words: blizzard sex
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
Randomize
