You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
Randomize
