Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
Randomize
