He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
Randomize
