After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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