Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize
