Those balls look pretty dangerous.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
I have aggressive nipples.
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Randomize
