They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
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