I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
porn star boner night. come get it.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
be right there i have to get my cape
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
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