I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Randomize
