THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
Randomize
