The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
I need moral support for this bender
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
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