You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
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