Just cropdusted the office
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
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