I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Randomize
