i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
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