Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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