you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
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