Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize