fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
Randomize
