My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
Randomize
