my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
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