Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
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