it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
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