my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Randomize
