Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Randomize
