Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
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