omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
