16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Randomize