Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
Randomize
