so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
Randomize
