i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
