Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
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