She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
Randomize
