why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Randomize
