What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
Randomize
