So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize