i just ordered a pitcher of margaritas for me and a friend but she called and canceled. oh well, looks like im getting trashed alone.
the waiter who hardly speaks english told me "i go get your medicine now"
this medicine is soooo good.
How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
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