why didn't you poke me back
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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