3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
Randomize
