Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Randomize
